infertility

Why HGaE Book Will *not* Have Page Numbers

Two things I specifically didn’t want in Hope Gives a Eulogy + WHY. . .

1) Page numbers
2)Table of Contents

Here’s why:

Page numbers would distract from the poetry and I want you to move through the story in the same way I did. I didn’t have an idea of a timeline. Page numbers give direction, but when you’re in the thick of it, you are just IN IT. You don’t know where you are or what’s really going to happen when you turn the page, but you have to turn the page because it’s your life.

-table of contents? I more than likely would have said no to a table of contents any which way you cut that cake, but do you know of anyone who gets to read a table of contents before they live their story?! Me neither! There’s no way to know.

So on these pages without numbers in a book without a table of contents, I learned to grieve, celebrate, stand up, wait long, breathe, hope, be unafraid, dream, trust, and laugh. My soul healed in God.

And I want you to go on that journey as closely as you can.

Forgetting Hope Gives a Eulogy is a book in your hand.

Being in those years with me.

Feeling seen and known as these poems meet you wherever you are.

infertility

The First Poem in Hope Gives a Eulogy

Here’s a snippet from the first poem in HGaE.

Entitled Wintered-Over for the brittle, achy, numb, wintry emotion of my whole soul when I was struggling the most.

Infertility is a sudden and subtle jolt of pain + grief. It took a lot for me to actually be really honest with myself and God about the state of myself and my belief in His goodness/kindness. God felt mean to me. I said the things I meant without filtering the reality of my pain and my perceptions of God. I learned to trust God with my vulnerability, who I really was without “spiritual speak.”

I lashed out toward God. God stayed. And so did I.

But I had a lot to process.

The poetry in Hope Gives a Eulogy takes you through the cyclical emotions of questioning, grieving & healing.

While I’m purposefully keeping most of the poems offline, Wintered-Over remains the exception which you can find as an instagram reel via @sierravfpoetry.

On a beautiful side note,

Spring is on its way & in some ways, it’s already here.❀ Flowers truly put a richness back into my life when life felt like nothing at all, and my husband brought me these flowers, and took photos especially for me to use for my blog.

Which reminds me of one of the love poems in Hope Gives a Eulogy.

So, the story lives on.❀