Chapter 2: Ocean Is a Season

Her raspy voice pleads with me as she points her finger to my heart and waves her hand as if to shoo me away. Every word is bitter to my ears.

“Go to the ocean. Go to the ocean.”
β€œInto the ocean. Into the ocean.”

And I know what Old Maryn is asking of me.

To walk into the waves and lower my whole body into the water. To walk until I cannot touch the ocean floor. To go where I do not want to go. To be where my flower dress falls apart. To exist where I have never wanted to exist. To turn away from the Island I have made. Read more

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I Did What I’ve Never Done Before

In my time away from regular life, work, and all the noise that comes with it, I found myself nurturing my garden with intention. I was looking up YouTube how-to videos, watching Monty Don do his garden magic, soaking up all the things I never knew, trying things that would have scared me silly just last year, and enjoying the quiet process of nurturing the small life that grows in gardening pots.

Flowers from the grocery store have turned into so much more. They have become life lessons, picture frames for my own soul seasons, and resilient blooms that return and return and return.

My garden is delightful, but not spectacular. I coax life, watch for life, and wait for life. Nurture and anticipate. That’s all that’s required of me. I’m not working to a finished garden, but walking through the process that yields a healthier garden. Read more

There’s More for You than Yourself

You are not what you can produce, perform, or portray. Maybe the insecurity and insignificance you feel right now is the best thing in your life. Why? Because it can push you to the best Place–the most satisfying Person of Jesus Christ.

But we live in a world that says you are the answer to your own problems.

Exhaustion weighs heavy even while we pride ourselves in being enough. We scream our anthems of being unique yet shrivel up inside . . .unsure if that’s actually true. We scream louder. Outer shells telling the story we wish we felt inside.

Breathe.

Let your outer shell break. Read more

So This Is What Faithfulness Feels Like

A few weeks ago, I was discouraged. I found myself thinking,

“So this is what faithfulness feels like.”Β 

I didn’t like the feeling.

But a couple days later, I had another thought. . . a better thought. . . a healing thought–

“So this is what Faithfulness looks like.”

The Faithfulness here refers to God. The God who parted the Red Sea and healed the heartbroken woman who was sick for 12 years. The God who kept His promises while humanity broke trust, violated worship, idolized, adulterated, murdered. The God who forgave, delighted in, and gave people belonging.

The God who still forgives, delights, and causes us to belong!

Who breaks each new morning with mercies instead of letting each new morning break us. Who thinks precious thoughts of me. . . of you. Who lavishes a Psalm 23 life upon us. The God who helps, searches, knows, and still loves. . . both of us. Who powerfully gives us victory over and over and over and over again.

And over again.

But I’ll be honest– Read more