Pain has a surprising habit of crushing our hearts gloriously nearer to God Himself. And it is God who can take the impossible--especially the impossible!–and transform it into beauty while pressing His love and goodness deep into our chasm of heartache.
But we turn to despair so fast.
Surely pain is here because we are not good enough yet. Surely pain is here because God wants suffering for us. Surely pain is here because God is withholding His goodness from us, and we don’t know why.
Everything about these thoughts is incredibly wrong, and yet so easy to fall prey to. We grab hold of our pain and shape it against God and if it doesn’t quite fit our outline of Him, we take it back and yell at God WHY and believe His goodness is dependent on our definition of good.
But God never fits into our definition, and if He did? Well, we’d be scared out of our minds. We wouldn’t want to serve a God who could easily fit into our narrow-minded ideas. Continue reading “The Surprising Habit of Pain”
It was just a regular morning. I woke up, heard the coffee grinding, took a hot shower, got dressed, slapped on some makeup, examined the snapdragons I can’t get enough of, and made my way to work.
But as I was walking to the truck, a picture of myself and God popped into my head. I was standing in the valley and He was teaching me how to sing a new song I hadn’t imagined for myself. It had the the sweetest sound. only there wasn’t any melody yet, just the promise of one. I didn’t look sad or depressed. I was overwhelmed by love. I was ready. I was surrendered. I was confident.
And so I almost started to cry right there on my way to the truck.
This wasn’t a strange vision, it was a picture of victory. It was me finally seeing a beautiful picture of what has taken place in my heart through days and days of being sure nothing was going to get better or become any kind of best.
The year of 2018 is impossibly becoming a place of thanksgiving. And I want to be made of thanksgiving…stitched and bound and woven. Which is a way of life and a way to life. Continue reading “Learning to Sing”
It’s amazing what happens when you live your own life. It’s so wonderful when you ignore social media. You don’t get bombarded by all these products that your friends apparently love & claim changed their life. It’s refreshing to take a walk whenever the sun is out and annoying when my old phone camera won’t capture the magic. But then, nothing could ever capture the magic I’ve seen just minutes from my home.
The winter blues don’t have me at all, because I’m already looking forward to the holidays of this year, and thinking about my fall bucket list, and dreaming about the flowers that are going to pop up in the spring fields after all this sopping wet rain. Continue reading “Broken Records of Grace”
The song of the weary? There are no songs here. I can feel that your desperate cries are loud. I can see a heart that constricts in pain and turns far from the thought of hope. I can hear all that you do not say, for I have refrained from speaking too. The song of the weary? It just can’t be done…there’s nothing to be sung.
I have thought the same.
But the beauty in this raging war is that nothing is made into something and song-less shadows make way for the hope-shadow of His wings. Not all shadows are bad, and nothings don’t have to be hopeless.
The song of the weary is beautiful.
It sounds like morning prayers in the shower, and mid-morning cries for help. It is the pouring out of a heart before God. It is the honesty that comes when sharing the struggle with a friend. It is the humility of falling into grace over and over again. It is the darkness that reminds you that there is the beautiful opposite named Hope. Continue reading “The Song of the Weary”