The Celebrating Soul

March | A Personal Journey Through 2019

Last March hit me like a freight train. It was chaos in my mind, a revisiting of mental warfare I knew too well and hated so much. But as the days progress, you can see the victory God gave me! God is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS greater and more powerful!

In the last 13 years, I have battled seasons of severe anxiety and fear. I am not an expert on mental health and would never claim to be, but I can tell you meditating on the truth of God’s Word, realigning my mind to what is real, and understanding my new identity in Christ has been the way of freedom from any grip of my my spiraling darkness. And I have spiraled and I have felt hopeless, but God! As spring broke in, the light broke through my heart again. And while we lost our beloved goat near the end of March, life still prevailed.

And you’ll see so much of it in April & May!


01: let’s be honest. . .a rough start. . .

02: resting + making a list of things God has given. . .cultivating thanks

03. God giveth and giveth and giveth and giveth more grace ❀

04: legos with L + M & goats with the neighbors πŸ™‚ a tiny bit of sun

05: nothing recorded

06: ❀ 3 different, very specific gifts from God ❀

07: Ephesians 2 ❀

08: good laughter + bonding with D

09: manzanita blooms. . .touching the promise of spring. much needed

10: God turned around my whole weekend. He’s changing my life.

11: nothing recorded

12: progress on pantry. . .a better day πŸ™‚

13: beautiful day of sunshine

14: pantry done & chat with J

15: Psalm 119:9-39 ❀ ❀

16: dawn of victory

17: ❀ more victory + “birthday observation” shopping

18: Birthday Observation Day πŸ˜€

19: God will prevail. ❀

20: God did PREVAIL and He is & will continue to

21-22: C + family

23: search me and know me ❀

24: so much victory!

25: -more freedom & still listening, still fighting (for truth)

26: beautiful buttercups in the breeze + birds chirping

27: the sun came out to surprise us! ❀

28: I LOVE E’s prayers at snack and all she is thankful for. . . .

29: (billy goat dies suddenly, horribly) Nigel ❀ we sure loved ya

30: Margie starts to kid (which turned out to be Margie just getting visibly closer to kidding πŸ˜€ )

31: New life πŸ˜€


This post has been sitting in the draft section for awhile. . . just waiting for the end of March. I had no idea then that our world would look and feel so different, that March would hit us all like a freight train, that it would be uncharted territory, and that we would all face some kind of loss, uncertainty, or unknown. But here we are. It’s March. And it’s pretty ugly. Again.

But you know what?

This is not the end. God is greater. Life prevails. The hope of who God is permeates our every day and settles into our souls when all else feels unsettling. We are here. And we can be confident without embracing blind optimism. Let’s fight for truth. Let’s grieve with God. Let’s anticipate the good, glory-filled, wonderful things God will do. Let’s take refuge in His steadfast love and faithfulness. This is hope in action.

Happy April!

The Celebrating Soul

You Are Not Your Pain

This week, I want to share one simple truth with you.

You are so much more.

Not in the self-help, blah-blah, yikkety-yak way, but you are more than your dreams, your expectations, your singleness, your marriage, your motherhood, your limitations, your pain, etc. . .

You are a child of God. Favored not forgotten. Upheld not forsaken. Full of purpose. The work of God’s hands. Called to the work of God. A bearer of His image. That’s who you are, and it’s not based on your merit at all. There is nothing that can swoop in to rob you of the truth.

The reality is your pain doesn’t have the power to become you, but your pain does have the potential to be the place you know God more and become more like Him.

Think of whatever struggle or difficult season you are facing in life right now. Be brutally honest. Hold nothing back. Name it. Say it aloud

And then insert your pain into this statement– Continue reading “You Are Not Your Pain”

Words for Women

The Surprising Habit of Pain

Pain has a surprising habit of crushing our hearts gloriously nearer to God Himself. And it is God who can take the impossible--especially the impossible!–and transform it into beauty while pressing His love and goodness deep into our chasm of heartache.

But we turn to despair so fast.

Surely pain is here because we are not good enough yet. Surely pain is here because God wants suffering for us. Surely pain is here because God is withholding His goodness from us, and we don’t know why.

Everything about these thoughts is incredibly wrong, and yet so easy to fall prey to. We grab hold of our pain and shape it against God and if it doesn’t quite fit our outline of Him, we take it back and yell at God WHY and believe His goodness is dependent on our definition of good.

But God never fits into our definition, and if He did? Well, we’d be scared out of our minds. We wouldn’t want to serve a God who could easily fit into our narrow-minded ideas. Continue reading “The Surprising Habit of Pain”

Words for Women

Learning to Sing

It was just a regular morning. I woke up, heard the coffee grinding, took a hot shower, got dressed, slapped on some makeup, examined the snapdragons I can’t get enough of, and made my way to work.

But as I was walking to the truck, a picture of myself and God popped into my head. I was standing in the valley and He was teaching me how to sing a new song I hadn’t imagined for myself.Β  It had the the sweetest sound. only there wasn’t any melody yet, just the promise of one. I didn’t look sad or depressed. I was overwhelmed by love. I was ready. I was surrendered. I was confident.

And so I almost started to cry right there onΒ  my way to the truck.

This wasn’t a strange vision, it was a picture of victory. It was me finally seeing a beautiful picture of what has taken place in my heart through days and days of being sure nothing was going to get better or become any kind of best.

The year of 2018 is impossibly becoming a place of thanksgiving. And I want to be made of thanksgiving…stitched and bound and woven. Which is a way of life and a way to life.Β  Continue reading “Learning to Sing”