I Did What I’ve Never Done Before

In my time away from regular life, work, and all the noise that comes with it, I found myself nurturing my garden with intention. I was looking up YouTube how-to videos, watching Monty Don do his garden magic, soaking up all the things I never knew, trying things that would have scared me silly just last year, and enjoying the quiet process of nurturing the small life that grows in gardening pots.

Flowers from the grocery store have turned into so much more. They have become life lessons, picture frames for my own soul seasons, and resilient blooms that return and return and return.

My garden is delightful, but not spectacular. I coax life, watch for life, and wait for life. Nurture and anticipate. That’s all that’s required of me. I’m not working to a finished garden, but walking through the process that yields a healthier garden. Read more

There’s More for You than Yourself

You are not what you can produce, perform, or portray. Maybe the insecurity and insignificance you feel right now is the best thing in your life. Why? Because it can push you to the best Place–the most satisfying Person of Jesus Christ.

But we live in a world that says you are the answer to your own problems.

Exhaustion weighs heavy even while we pride ourselves in being enough. We scream our anthems of being unique yet shrivel up inside . . .unsure if that’s actually true. We scream louder. Outer shells telling the story we wish we felt inside.

Breathe.

Let your outer shell break. Read more

You Are Not Your Pain

This week, I want to share one simple truth with you.

You are so much more.

Not in the self-help, blah-blah, yikkety-yak way, but you are more than your dreams, your expectations, your singleness, your marriage, your motherhood, your limitations, your pain, etc. . .

You are a child of God. Favored not forgotten. Upheld not forsaken. Full of purpose. The work of God’s hands. Called to the work of God. A bearer of His image. That’s who you are, and it’s not based on your merit at all. There is nothing that can swoop in to rob you of the truth.

The reality is your pain doesn’t have the power to become you, but your pain does have the potential to be the place you know God more and become more like Him.

Think of whatever struggle or difficult season you are facing in life right now. Be brutally honest. Hold nothing back. Name it. Say it aloud

And then insert your pain into this statement– Read more

Spring at the Blue House (Starring Baby Goats!)

I walked into this year without any big dreams. My plan was to simply embrace and steward everything I had been given in 2018. Everything I am enjoying today is a choice I made last year. God gave opportunities to me in 2018 and then gave me the courage to say yes.

When I look back, I can’t believe how much I learned and experienced in a year. It was big and unlikely. I could not have imagined it for myself, but all of those big things started very small.


Potted flowers from the grocery store.

A hose (or two. . .thanks a lot, Frankie Tom!).

Two unexpected does in June.

A surprise billy goat in August.

Research on self-publishing.

A hundred other small decisions.

So. . . here we are in the springtime of 2019 and I’m stewarding the gifts I’d been given last year–goats, a porch garden, a published book, new and old relationships. It’s quiet and calm. It’s breathtaking and mundane.

And I’ll be honest, there have been some incredibly low moments this year. March swept in with spiritual warfare and the loss of our much loved (and quite hilarious!) billy goat. Stewarding what I had seemed a small thing to hold. Somewhat discouraging. Definitely beautiful.


My porch garden slowly came back to life in exuberance. Some plants died completely while others died back to come to life again. I am learning what it means and what it takes to garden. . .even in the smallest of places.


We planted from seed packets this year and are watching little green sprouts brave the journey. My daisies started their own idea of spring in February and have vibrantly met April with gusto!


The day after Easter, our Miss Margie decided it was the perfect afternoon to have her two little babies. It almost seemed like she waited for us to be there. Within 10 minutes of being home, her water broke.

I still can’t believe the perfect timing. We got to witness the entire beautiful process! Margie’s little buckling came first soon followed by an adorable black doeling.


The doeling is a spitting image of our buck, Nigel. I miss Nigel, but holding this little bundle of stubborn, zesty doeling is like having Nigel back in its own small way.


The pretty buckling is named Chester and the cutest black doeling I’ve ever seen is named Roxanne. The names just came to us as we watched the two babies in their first hours of life.


And I think the magic of stewarding what you’ve been given is that the gifts double. Maybe the gifts double in the form of two baby goats, or maybe the gifts double in the form of the beauty you get to experience because the gifts exist. Either way, my resolve to steward doubled in responsibility and magic all at once.


I’m not sure I’ve ever loved spring more, but it’s been a process to walk into 2019 with arms open wide. I’m keeping Psalm 112:7 close to me, “He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.”


As I tend to all I’ve bee given, I’m learning to enjoy life without fear of what may come or what may never come at all. It’s a year for standing still and seeing, for seeing and tending, for tending and giving thanks.


The magic has doubled in the quiet. The beauty has deepened in the middle. The rejoicing has strengthened after the storm. This is life with God. And history tells me I’m safe to open my arms even wider than this.