Learning to Sing

It was just a regular morning. I woke up, heard the coffee grinding, took a hot shower, got dressed, slapped on some makeup, examined the snapdragons I can’t get enough of, and made my way to work.

But as I was walking to the truck, a picture of myself and God popped into my head. I was standing in the valley and He was teaching me how to sing a new song I hadn’t imagined for myself.  It had the the sweetest sound. only there wasn’t any melody yet, just the promise of one. I didn’t look sad or depressed. I was overwhelmed by love. I was ready. I was surrendered. I was confident.

And so I almost started to cry right there on  my way to the truck.

This wasn’t a strange vision, it was a picture of victory. It was me finally seeing a beautiful picture of what has taken place in my heart through days and days of being sure nothing was going to get better or become any kind of best.

The year of 2018 is impossibly becoming a place of thanksgiving. And I want to be made of thanksgiving…stitched and bound and woven. Which is a way of life and a way to life. 

Forget not all His benefits.

You have dealt bountifully with me.

You favor me.

You crown me with steadfast love.

These are beautiful words to the best kind of music and it’s the chorus for all our lives. This chorus (found everywhere in the Psalms) is what I’m learning to sing over and over and over again in thanksgiving. And I think the verses to this new song are coming from the valley. God is setting free the places in me that He has long wanted for Himself, and I am learning to sing to the One who deserves my life-song.

And there’s this question that keeps taking up so much space in my mind and it’s simply-

Could this be favor?

It never felt like favor before, but I can sing in valleys. And I’m held together by more joy than sorrow. I’m learning to weave thanksgiving in and through the desert and the river. And I’m watching impossible places be split open by the love and mercy of God. I’ve never been more confident in my womanhood or more full of freedom in living it out.

So-

Has God done the impossible and shown me favor that began as pain? Hope that was born from heartache? Joy that came despite joyless places? Was it favor to take the old me and slowly help it die so that the new me could sing the new songs with the beautiful verses, and the glorious melodies that burst forth from burdens instead of blessings?

Could this be favor?

I could almost cry again!

I am crowned with steadfast love.

Valleys end in victory.

Songs that start from sorrow become sounds of jubilee

Abundance can flow from blessings and burdens.

And God’s making a song out of me!

Maybe the valley isn’t a place of heartbreak, but an empty place to make room for hope. Maybe the valley isn’t meant to crush me, but rather to cultivate thanksgiving within me. Maybe the valley isn’t about survival at all, but about knowing the Satisfier of my soul. Maybe favor in the valley is one of the biggest miracles of all, and the most beautiful notes to a song I am still learning to sing and waiting to hear.

God is showing me the depth of His love in the least lovely places, so how could I not sing of His wonderful works?

I stand in the valley on the way to my truck, and I’m looking to God. This is joy. This is favor.

I whisper with confidence, God, teach me more.

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