Even the Brightest Flower

what happens when

you get thrown

into nothing?

spread out arms

wide to no one?

people move on,

but not you. . .

expanse of heartache,

a cliff for a timeline,

free fall of lost things,

you by a thread.

so, walk to the edge!

but go down softly

with hope,

without breaking

your bones.

sink yourself

into the ground.

way up there

on that precipice

flowers can grow

on cliffs–

the Edge is not

the End.

you can’t command

the sun and rain

or bloom all by yourself.

darkness, silence.

longer, louder.

chaotic stillness.

feeling it all,

all feeling numb.

but I promise

you chose

the way down

that is hope.


hold fast.

hold tight.


impossible hours,

tangled up days,

six feet below?


this is you



how glorious the sun feels,

and it was always there.

and so were you

but underground.

the work of roots

and waiting.

all along, life.

but even the brightest flower

can’t force sunshine

on its skin

before its blooming



Garden Lullaby

I Am Here

Garden Lullaby, August 21, 2019

One of my flower bunches had outgrown the pot. The roots were reaching out of the drainage holes. So I did what I’ve never done before. I became a plant surgeon. I broke the soil and gently + firmly replanted both in separate pots.

I wasn’t sure the hanging flowers would make it and it still looks weak, but it’s getting stronger and I’ve seen new green sprouts growing boldly. The other part of the flower bunch that was dying is now thriving. And so new life is triumphing all.

I keep being reminded of Spring 2018 when I was inexpertly plopping soil into a pot thinking, “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m doing a new thing.” Immediately from this thought, God seemed to say, “I know what I’m doing, I’m doing a new thing.”  And He has! And He is!

Transplanting flowers with a courageous hand and celebrating every single new green sprout confirms just how much life God has done & is doing on the outside of me and in the inside of me. I am a gardener. I am a celebrator of life. I am at peace. I am full of hope. I am watching. I am waiting. I am living from a place of joy.

I am here.

All because God knows what He’s doing.

Garden Lullaby

This Is My Most Important Work

Garden Lullaby, July 8, 2019

If you look at this photo long enough, its super creepy. But bear with me!

I love the process of gardening. It’s good to work the soil, to move earth around, to listen to the birds while preparing for something new. I love this work. It may seem small or trivial to others, but it’s the work I’ve been given to do today. There’s other work too. . .like loving Ben, taking care of other people’s children, spending time with goat kids, and preparing myself and my material for speaking opportunities. This is good work and it’s the best work I can do today, because it’s the work I’m called to right now. I can glorify God by doing THIS work, by offering my all to Him.

There is no season, stage, or status necessary to live my best life, to offer my absolute all, to do important things.

It all starts NOW.

Don’t Miss Your Life, a poem

You’re Not Meant for a Box, a poem

Pain Is a Gateway. . .Not a Gift

Garden Lullaby

Ask Yourself This Revolutionary Question

Garden Lullaby, June 28, 2019

Summers in the Porch Garden are magical. I’ve found a new spot to sit in my garden cushioned by two outside pillows. The afternoon sun hits the garden leaves just right and I’m suddenly invited to a quiet, beautiful world.

To anyone else, it looks small and unexciting, but it thrills my soul. It causes me to ENJOY life as it is now, as God has made it. . . as He has given it. Hummingbirds and summer breezes and sunlit leaves. . .magical & intentionally given by God!

I’ve been asking myself the question, “How have I tasted (experienced) the goodness of God?” This question changes everything. It revolutionizes an ordinary moment. It causes gladness in my heart, because I am forced to acknowledge all I have ALREADY received from God! My reality may be hard, but it is not harsh because I am a forever recipient of God’s kindness and goodness. So ask yourself the revolutionary question–

How have I already tasted (experienced) the goodness of God?

about this series

For You. . .while you wait, a poem

What If I Wasn’t Meant for More, a poem