Digging My Grave with a Home Depot Shovel

It was one of those conversations. You know, the kind where you just talk in circles and try to explain your reasons while insulting each other in the process. Go ahead,  it’s ok to smile or laugh…I mean we’ve all had them. No marriage is perfect. 

That tinge of misunderstanding is coloring your tone, and it’s just a no-win situation…at least for a little while. And such was the case for the loving husband and the happy wife (aka me & Ben). It was a frustrating conversation about Home Depot (and life, for that matter) and the things we needed to purchase for our home.  By the way, his suggested purchases weren’t  unreasonable, but I’m a tight wad and don’t spend money when I should. 

I am happy to report that this photo was taken about a week and a half after the initial Home Depot fiasco! This is me doing grocery shopping and Home Depot errands without throwing an adult fit!

We had already had a busy day at work whilst also being hit with lots of different things. I mean, it’s life. That’s what happens. Needless to say, there was a lot going on for the both of us. After getting home, I suggested going into town to get a few things we needed. It would also serve as a nice breather from the tension we were feeling, but then he suggested going in to Home Depot while we were at it. He wanted to conquer more in less time. 

BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO SPEND MONEY OR SPEND LONGER IN TOWN! Enter in the frustrating misunderstandings, going in circle conversations, not-so loving words, but then a lot of loving words…etc & so forth. 

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Singles Are Superheroes

Before you read this, please know I’m making fun of myself! Feel free to laugh at me or with me, but don’t think for a second that I’m making light of singles or that all married women are as helpless as me! Just enjoy this for what it is…good-natured humor! 

On Sunday, I realized that singles are superheroes. If you don’t believe me now, you will soon. Everyone likes to say how hard marriage is and how much you have to work for it and blah, blah, blah.

Like we get it.

But singles are superheroes!

For instance, my husband and I were on our way home from church and we had a couple of errands to run. We live outside of town and we are homebodies, so after church is the best time to do all the shopping.  Read more

Grounds for Tardiness

It was Sunday and the alarms were alarming simultaneously. Should a husband and wife use one alarm if they are inadvertently setting the same times? A question that begs to be answered, but not right now. “The alarm needs shut off”, grumbles Happy Wife in her thoughts. “I just need a little more time.”
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And Loving Husband is thinking the same thing. Attention-deprived Dog is running back and forth, but the two sleepy-drenched individuals drown out his presence.

Sleep is sweet. Sleep is so sweet. But it can turn sour 4 minutes before you have to be out the door. It’s a precarious timetable and flirting with the alarm is risky, but some days you just have to flirt.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. Or in this case melodious music that never pushes past 10 notes. Sleep-medicated hand fumble, fumble, slaps! And it’s off! Dog shakes around its name tag. Husband and Wife tune him out again. Just a few more minutes!
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Truck vs Wife

I will say honestly that I have a good existence. As good as an old running thing anyway. But I’ll be even more honest when I tell you that she makes me downright nervous. She saunters up, always trying to look over-confident, but instead always succeeding in looking nervous. She was never good at this and she will admit it…right in front of me (which makes me rust profusely and she never notices)!

He, however, (I believe she calls him Ben) puts me at ease. I don’t mind spending time with him. At least, I won’t get a backache, or get stuck, dented, or accidentally mistreated. All of these things have happened with her. I can’t bear to even acknowledge her name. She recently scraped me against a tree stump, hence the dent.  She insists she couldn’t see it. How could she miss it? She has no respect for my old and rusting temperament. I have tried to be patient, but I cannot bear it anymore.

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I’m a truck, by the way. And also I’ve heard her say that she’s going to put insulting things about me on this blog. She thinks I’m not listening when she talks to her husband…but I am. They have discussed names for me, but haven’t officially picked one out. I’ve helped them move TWICE! I’ve escorted them on their honeymoon (what a strange time of my existence). I’ve been through drive-thus, battery died multiple times (thanks to her), been pulled over on the jolliest of holidays, and have gone wherever they will me….including the Mohave desert! Read more