I plucked the first of many spring blooms last week. The buttercups sprout up faster than any other flower around my home. There are baby purple ones that nearly touch the earth full-grown…but the yellow buttercups are the surest sign that spring has come to stay. The first week of spring was full of realizations both deep and practical. I’ve begun this season with so much joy and anticipation, but the first full week of it was a chaotic stop-start situation!
For me, late fall and winter is a time of reflection. It is when I wrap up the year and look forward to another while remembering the past. It’s probably my favorite season, but then there is spring! And my heart is ready to really live all of life again! However, this spring (as I mentioned before) has had a chaotic beginning. 🙂
I scurried around like a frazzled woman last week. I was carrying a load much too big for me and became fully frustrated with how it was turning out. I was realizing some good, wonderful things on a simple walk, but returning to my mess of emotions. I was laughing hard and deeply, yet finding myself in tears as well. Guys, I am a woman through and through.
Before I picked those buttercup blooms, I had already experienced and realized a few things which I want to share with you. So…here goes!
God gives each of us the kindest road to walk.
I’ve been realizing this slowly since August. I am a slow learner, but as I have rested in the green meadows and chosen God, and scraped away the lies I had believed about Him, I have come to see that God has given me a kind road. This thought came to me after walking through the woods. The clouds had parted ways to showcase the blue sky, and the sun pierced the earth with its beautiful sunshine. I was standing in restored life, realizing that I had finally and fully claimed the lovingkindness of God. I was sure this road was the best and the kindest. I believed it has been and will be made good with purpose by God.
You’ve read the slow bits of my realization for the past year. You’ve journeyed with me and taken a small part in my thoughts, but here I am again…so overjoyed to rejoicing that this life is mine. I am at rest with the heartache, the grief, and the pain. I am in hope only to God. I am claiming His goodness rather than questioning what kind of God He really must be. You’re walking the kindest road too. It’s not easy, but it’s kind.
I am part of the problem.
Remember the part where I said I was overwhelmed? WELL. This is a funny story, because I am a human and we do dumb stuff. I was carrying a work load that really didn’t belong to me, but instead of involving my boss first thing, I just kept holding it. Oh, I carried the load just fine until the day I didn’t. And I really fell face-flat. Eventually (oh…24 ish hours later), I realized that I was a part of the problem! I contributed to all these overwhelmed feelings. I could blame no one else anymore! If I had included my boss and not acted like the great of all greats, I’d have been so much better off.
Sometimes, 98% of the fight is acknowledging that YOU (yes YOU !) are part of the problem! Life is better when you claim the messes you make and then just move forward.
Real friendship is one of the best experiences you can have in life.
I have just such a friend. Well, yes, yes, yes! Ben is my best friend, my confidant, the hero of many rough days, and the kindest man I know! Marriage is another best experience. But a friend? A real gal pal? A friend who carves out time last minute and takes hour long walks and laughs alongside you as you hilariously labor up the hill? This is a priceless experience.
I kinda feel like a kid again, although 99% of our adventures (so far) have been drinking black coffee and pushing the limits of how late we can stay up and talk. Having a real friend during that frazzled first week of spring was wonderful. It’s a gift I was totally unprepared for. Aren’t those the best kind?
So yeah, the beginning of my spring was tumultuous….most of my doing, let’s be honest! But I experienced so many wonderful things throughout. I claimed God’s lovingkindness in my life. I found the freedom in acknowledging my shortcomings and asking others for help. I laughed heartily and deeply and un-ladylike loudly with a real friend.
This is spring.
This is LIFE!
ps: I’ll be expounding on God giving each of us the kindest road in Monday’s email. If you want that, you can sign up for it EASY! I promise it will be worth it.
Sierra V. Fedorko 