Your Beautiful Story

It didn’t feel very beautiful. It just felt like a lot of fighting and a lot of struggle–a giving up and a giving over. The cycle was monotonous and so was God’s grace–never ending, always overflowing. And day-by-day I was living it. Over and over.

I’d gotten rather used to the miraculous power of grace, the gift of full & present peace, the falling & (in God alone) rising again. So, after I opened up my heart once again…I waited for her reply. And do you want to know her first sentence? These were her lovely first words I read as I opened up the email—

“Wow…Sierra, what a beautiful story you are living right now.”

Up until I read those words, I didn’t know what to share with you. I had no idea what to write, how to encourage, the things I should share…but then I read those words.

And they stuck in my heart.

As the day went by, I began to realize just how right her words were, and how easily I lived forgetting about beautiful. I am such a careless heart living with a redeemed soul. I forget how it is God that carries me through the day, lifts me up, holds me close, forgives my sin, and comforts me in life weariness. Read more

so-called BEAUTY

~written two years ago~

 

fearfullyandwonderfully2

Uncomfortable.

This is the feeling that I get when reading Christian articles about beauty. Because somehow, and in some way, the article is pointed straight back to me concerning my beauty, and how I’m one of a kind. How I shouldn’t let media paint my picture.

These articles seem to say that I am more beautiful than the world. I am more beautiful than Hollywood stars. I am more beautiful than my size. I am simply a beauty living in a Creation so far gone from its Creator. All I truly know is that I am nothing. I am wretched. At the very core of me is an ugliness that I haven’t even fully realized.

But

Christ has made the difference in me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made ,and this does not make me some holy, righteous model of our so-called Christian beauty. It makes me a lovingly sculpted child of the Creator, and this is far deeper than our version of beauty and being beautiful. Because beauty in the “Christian world” has somehow become just as plastic and fake as beauty in the “media world.”

Because Christian girls are still fighting for acceptance, and they are still looking for someone to deem them beautiful.

Because it is no longer about being fearfully and wonderfully made, it’s about how satisfied we feel in being made this way.

Because somehow, even our “Christ-like” view of beauty is twisted and selfish. The reality is, beauty will never accept you.

Because it was never meant to be our god. It was never meant to be ours. The truth is, you were not made for acceptance in any part of this world. You were made for adoption by the King of kings.

Maybe it’s time that we strive for something else. Because our twisted view of beauty has never been the point of life. And this disillusioned beauty will fail us every time.

Maybe, we should be more concerned about living for God.

Maybe, our gaze should be turned upward instead of inward.

Maybe, the only mirror we need is God’s Word.

Maybe, beauty was meant to be unattainable, because it was never meant to be satisfying. And maybe, we should even thank society for its gnarled view of beauty. Because here it has become clear that real beauty doesn’t exist without Christ.

I don’t want to hear about how beautiful I am despite the media. I want to hear about the One who made me. I want to marvel at the truth that God made me.

In the end, it’s not about how fearfully and wonderfully made I am. It is that God chose toΒ  make me fearfully and wonderfully. He did so in His image, and fully for His glory.

Any beauty that we have does not belong to us, even if we are Christians. Any beauty that others perceive in us is not because of us. Any physical beauty, and any beauty within our hearts is not owned by us. All of beauty, all of you, and all of me belongs solely to our God.

So maybe—

We should write about the Creator instead of the created.

B E A U T I F U L

{AΒ  poem from high school //03.18.12}

There are few in this world.

That grow from a little girl.

Into someone beautiful.

It takes the story of a life.

A laugh in the rain.

A tear in the sorrow.

To truly own the name.

The loss of a child.

The love of a man.

The force of a smile.

When you don’t understand. Read more

And We Truly Are Kids

benandsierra-240Just yesterday, I had the privilege to talk to couples very much older than myself. They were asking about my life and they were asking about Ben’s life. After a little while, I told them this, “It’s good to be around Ben, because we are just babies with all this relationship stuff. So, it’s good to learn the push and pull of it all.” They nodded their heads in full agreement. Perhaps, analyzing our age and comparing their weathered love story to our very bright red, blooming one.

I respect those faces aged with knowledge and those hearts shaped in wisdom. I am not ignorant to the fact that I am just a girl, a very young woman, who is living a life that hasn’t even touched a fraction of the stories they have lived and known. I would welcome their advice and I would ask for it unashamed! I can easily delete from my mind all those well-meaning blog posts written by women who are hardly older than myself .But ifΒ  I could sit down with an older generation and pepper them with questions about life for hours, I would. Perhaps, I will.

Why don’t we?

That beautiful thing called old age is rare, and those beautiful couples wrinkled from life are more valuable than we treat them. We credit far too many blog posts as places to glean wisdom and knowledge about relationships and dating and love and life.

A compiled blog site, I am positive, can hold much knowledge and good practical advice. But a life? A wrinkled life? A lived life? A life of 60+ years? We discard that easily when we pass by the elderly as we refuse even curiosity to ask them about their life and what they have learned by living in it. Read more