The Dangerous “Christian” Ladder

Have you ever felt like there is a “Christian” Ladder you’re supposed to climb? You can be honest. I’ve tried to climb it. I have frustrated friends who have tried to climb it. And we never really say it aloud do we? But somehow, it’s yelled out pretty loud and clear.

YOU NEED TO BE MARRIED to have purpose.

YOU NEED TO HAVE CHILDREN if you’re going to be of any real worth.

YOU MUST MAKE GOOD KIDS HAPPEN to fully and truly be the woman you were made to be.

YOU MUST CONTINUE TO ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS AT ALL COST if you are truly hoping for your purpose to be fully realized.


But every time we enter the next season, we find it’s never enough to fill us up and satisfy our desires. We exhaust ourselves by killing ourselves just trying to climb a pointless ladder that God never built for us in the first place. Every time we attain the “next thing,” we strip that title and reach for more. We are thirsty for purpose and slap ribbons and trophies on certain life seasons. We consequently leave out thousands of women in the process.

Don’t believe me?

What about the single woman who’s living fully and freely in God’s beautiful plan? What about the barren woman who’s rejoicing, because God’s given her a heart spilling over with life? What about the single mother who’s walking closely with God and experiencing great strength and wisdom? What about the divorced woman richly blessed by God and fully surrendered to God? What about the empty-nester rediscovering the big life God has prepared for her?

When we act like being a wife and/or mom is the end all-be all, we alienate countless women. When we act like we have to achieve great things as a wife and mom, we also alienate ourselves from our true purpose.

Our entire purpose is wrapped in our relationship with God.

And this does not change whether you are single, barren, pregnant, a mom of three, divorced, an empty-nester, or widowed. There is no ladder to climb, there is only our God to intimately know. You cannot be left behind, because our God doesn’t work that way. He makes beautiful mosaics with His children not ladder rungs. There is no next achievement or season that will put your purpose into real effect. Your purpose is in effect right here, right now.

When you are walking with God, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

The “Christian ladder” is made of mirages, confusion, and lies. God doesn’t place you on a ladder for significance! You are placed in God’s love because you are already significant to Him! (Psalm 103, Ephesians 1)

You are a woman with an opportunity for the greatest kind of life and the deepest kind of joy. And this life and joy happens when you pursue a relationship with your God who loved you first and who will love you always. There’s no catch, no fine-print, and no “next” ladder rung. There’s you and God. And He does not value you based on your marital status, your ability to bear children, your success or failures as a mother, or your trial-and-error learning as an empty-nester. God values you, because YOU ARE HIS CHILD. Period.

Your joy is not based on your place in life, it’s based in God who gives you life and who is your life.

There is no next thing or higher ladder rung for you to reach. Your purpose is a relationship with God. God has not left you out or left you behind. You are not made to climb ladder rungs; you are made to know God, be known by God, and make God known (Ephesians 3:16-21). And this can fully happen anytime, in any season or situation, through any loss or heartache, within any joy or suffering.

Know God’s love (Romans 8:31-39) and love God in every way you know how. . .with your heart, mind, and soul. There is nothing better or more fulfilling than being a woman who loves God with her life and who is loved by the God who gave her life.

This is a story of grace, peace, joy, and unchanging, unshakable purpose.

And it’s yours.


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