Weary But Never Empty

“The weary world rejoices…“

We sing this and we say it. We live it, too. A weary world rejoicing does not mean we throw off weariness in order to rejoice, but that we rejoice while we are weary, because we have Reason to hope that this weariness will not last forever.

And it won’t.

With the birth of Jesus came a promise fulfilled and after His death, a Resurrection. And in His resurrection, ours. And soon our faith will be made sight. Either in heaven with Him or when He returns. God always fulfills His promises to us, His heart is ever toward us, and He is with us.

And it’s this Presence–His Presence–which changes everything. We are enchanted by festive twinkle lights, swept in the joy of filling stockings for those we love, and haul Christmas cake around to share…and all this with weariness, but not emptiness. Never emptiness.

Because God is with us, we can enjoy life.

And I believe it pleases Him when we do enjoy it–weary/rejoicing hearts and all!

I look back at a Christmas season where I surely wasn’t always merry nor bright, where awful sickness flew through our home so near Christmas Day, our van burnt out, and bruised and bleeding days played out in this broken world, but I still spent the length of it preparing good things for others and receiving good gifts from God.

Making a gingerbread dollhouse, creating personalized Christmas fairytales to send, gift hunting, gift wrapping, and late December homemade ornaments for a dear friend become my expression of hope in Jesus. The Presence of God makes the good things so very good and the hard things inexplicably bearable.

*One of my very favorite photos from the season! It looks as though if I let go he will simply FLY!*

Don’t you think it’s such evidence of God’s Presence, Immanuel, that we can experience such celebration in this kind of world where every emotion crashes together and sorrow and joy cannot be untangled from one another?

In the crushing waves and glorious sunsets of our lives, we experience the heart of God toward us, ever for us, ever with us. And that’s not to say we don’t struggle, sink, question, ache, but it is to say, we are held through it all.

It is to say:

Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
6This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
7The angel of the LORD encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.
8Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
9Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
10The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

I absolutely struggled with joy and the feeling of getting the rug pulled out from under me, but in prayer to God, I found peace. In fellowship with Him, I did not drown. And this year? Christmas Day was as close to perfect as it could be…

A thrilled little boy, a happy little girl, stockings spilling out on the couch, chaos of toys and chocolate, Christmas movies and phone calls, family video recordings, toddler sparkly dress over pajama pants, hearty roast for Christmas dinner, deep afternoon naps and tangled toddler hair, Mom and Dad sitting on the couch with feet in each other’s lap, watching their children play, talking, and fully in the season at hand.

Not every year will burn bright like this. Indeed, I have grieved and railed during Christmas! But this year I cannot deny that actual Christmas Day shone bright. With open hands and a surrendered heart, I receive the gift of that utter brightness, full knowing that whatever is to come, God is with me–with us–and I can always live in the goodness of God without fear, within grief, brimming with joy, or bound by sorrow.

In happiness and in heartache, God’s Presence changes everything, and so I can spend the length of my days preparing good things, planning for goodness, and receiving good gifts from God. (Psalm 23:6) In this fullness of spirit, I embrace this fresh winter season, these late December days, and the brink of a New Year with calm anticipation.

Sierra V. Fedorko