Sierra V. Fedorko

2016 is trending;
but it’s the year that marked
the years to come
of life
without a baby
the year I didnt know
that I would start
to die.

2016 is trending;
it’d be a long and painful
burial
month by month
by month by
month—
this is what it’s like
to die
when you are
still alive.
        
(But are you?)

I can’t get back
there.
Nor do I want to—
do not take me
back.

But if I could get to her,
I would keep
my mouth
shut.

For her, a great big hug,
instead.
I’m thinking,
but not out loud,

Light
got buried with you,
light!
Water is coming
for your soul.
Wholeness
for your wilting heart.
Flowers
for your aching arms.
Life
for your ashes,
then
a celebration of your
life.

2016 is trending;
I hold her
tight,
let go.

She will know soon enough;
it will not feel soon
at all,
and I can’t make that
any different,
but the Lord is making it
well.

-S.V.F. / Time Marker

read more:

Hope Gives a Eulogy – my journey through infertility

Get your free downloads