I listen to the rain, pitter-patter. I drink the eggnog. I see the stockings just bought for our very first Christmas. I sit by the lighted tree with those handmade ornaments and all the memories we have already made. Our first dog jumps into the chair with me, to squeeze in beside me.
And I think of moments long-gone. “Oh, it’s only a year ago,” I think to myself. But a year ago? That is long-gone. I can never get it back. I can never live it again. That’s what makes time sweet. That’s what makes it painful.
Before you proposed, you asked me where I wanted it to happen. And when I was a girl, I had dreamed of it taking place in the wide expanse of the desert. But the older I got, and the more I knew you—the sooner my mind changed.
I didn’t want to make more memories at a home where I grew up. I wanted to make a permanent memory somewhere that you loved, somewhere that meant something to you. I wanted to go to your favorite place, a childhood adventure, a spot where I could make an imprint that would start our history together. Read more
I wrote this a year ago just 2 days before getting engaged. Ben and I have always been simple dwellers and our engagement was nothing fancy. Truth be told, Ben was still weak from a terrible flu and I was still in my regular bouts of chronic pain when he asked me to marry him (I’ll post more about that later).
But on the 21st, before that big day that started all the busy days, I was inspired to write about our relationship in a raw way. Because relationships aren’t full of fancy surprises and big events. Their full of small moments, little choices, and yes, and occasional bout of wonder. I wanted to tell my friends how it really is in a relationship.
And then, I came to the end of the post with the realization that I couldn’t dictate what other relationships looked like. I couldn’t really tell anyone how it is—I could only really say that a relationship–imperfect, flawed, & wonderful—is worth living no matter the moments tossed your way.
1. What was it like when you asked your girlfriend to marry you?
I was very excited. I could hardly keep from exploding the entire time. And I was so excited that I could hardly plan out how I wanted to propose to her. And I was rushing it all, so that’s the main reason I was nervous. I was excited, because obviously, I was pretty sure she would say yes. 🙂 And we were going to enter into this next stage of life together and enjoy companionship for the rest of our lives.
2. Did you have strong opinions about how the wedding should be or were you more like “She can get married in a brown paper bag for all I care!”?
Yes. I wanted a wedding that would glorify God first and foremost. One that would make my future wife happy and a good memory for her to look back on. And I wanted it to be fun for everyone! Those were the three main things.
Was there a point in the planning process that you seriously considered just getting in the car to go elope?
1. Did you enjoy making wedding plans? And which month was the absolute bear of the whole experience & why?
I did enjoy making wedding plans. I’m a list type of person, so it felt nice to write things down, then check them off accordingly. Although, near the end…I just wanted to be done with it all. Really, really done. March was, by far, the worst of the whole planning process.
More than making wedding plans, I was scurrying around trying to switch insurance providers, schedule doc appointments as well as get surgery done. The month of March was full of doctors and pain, then the beginning of April was surgery and recovery. It was very difficult to be having doctor apps, surgery, recovery, wedding plans, teaching, and regular life all at once. People didn’t always understand the pressure I was under, but it was good for me to feel that pull. I learned to just do what I was able, instead of trying to meet everyone’s expectations with an A+.
2. What was one of the most difficult parts of being engaged?Read more