Life & Learning

This Place Is Called Fear

From Audrey Assad’s song “I Shall Not Want”, my heart was moved. I had never quite thought of it in this way and my eyes became wide open. The words were simple, and still cut deep into my soul with comfort…not pain.

“From the fear of death or trial. Deliver me, O God”

The realization came so suddenly. I can get so wrapped up in fearing the trial, in awaiting the valley, and anticipating the hard times that the trial isn’t the issue…the fear of it is. I am scared to go through something. I am scared to walk the valley. I am scared of the dark.

But God is bigger!

And He is more.

For all the pain in life, God has comforted and thought of me. I have nothing to fear. Yet here I sit…so wrapped up in myself, so ready to sink beneath the weight, and drown in the future that I fear the struggle.

Life isn’t something to fear, BECAUSE God is with me. Every valley is bearable, and every mountaintop is more celebrated. The words in the song were so simple, and yet broke into this tired heart! Continue reading “This Place Is Called Fear”

Life & Learning

I Sat Broken on a Piano Bench

Could I ever move beyond this? Would I ever be free again? There is no hope for me….Crushed in my empty dream. Collapsed in my body, weak. Believed in lies that I had seen. Lost  in life so shadowed, bleak. 

I felt as though all was lost, all was empty, and somehow in the shuffle, all had become nothing. Fallen dreams to the floor. Little voices calling out Say “Give up, confirm your doubt! You’ve done this before. You’ve fallen this way.” So, you try to give up once more.

And the pain is deep, because hadn’t I fallen into this same dark place over and over again? Hadn’t I had the constant thoughts on replay grating on my sanity, ripping away at life, leaving me for nothing? Why couldn’t I just give up and let the darkness of anxiety pull me under…for good.
Continue reading “I Sat Broken on a Piano Bench”