Let Me Tell You How It Is

I wrote this a year ago just 2 days before getting engaged. Ben and I have always been simple dwellers and our engagement was nothing fancy. Truth be told, Ben was still weak from a terrible flu and I was still in my regular bouts of chronic pain when he asked me to marry him (I’ll post more about that later).

But on the 21st, before that big day that started all the busy days, I was inspired to write about our relationship in a raw way. Because relationships aren’t full of fancy surprises and big events. Their full of small moments, little choices, and yes, and occasional bout of wonder. I wanted to tell my friends how it really is in a relationship. 

  And then, I came to the end of the post with the realization that I couldn’t dictate what other relationships looked like. I couldn’t really tell anyone how it is—I could only really say that a relationship–imperfect, flawed, & wonderful—is worth living no matter the moments tossed your way.



Let me tell you how it is.


It’s regular life lived out every day.
It’s morning, afternoon, and night.

It’s heavy conversations and jokes that really aren’t funny.
It’s selfishness and forgiveness in a handful of minutes.

It’s the sick day that comes every few weeks.
It’s the lovely picnic you throw to celebrate…time.

Let me tell you how it is.


It’s the day that everything goes wrong.
And then it’s their reminder that everything is right.

It’s the pain and your joy intertwined.
It’s those memories that aren’t posted on Facebook.

It’s crying and holding and waiting for the smile to come.
It’s staring at the person who has delved so deeply into your heart.

Let me tell you how it is.


It’s stepping away from the image of social media.
It’s protecting the private joys of a good relationship.

It’s giving and giving, then sacrificing even more.
It’s forgiveness all over again.

It’s writing a story with no words.
Then reading it back and forth to each other as you both live.

Let me tell you how it is.


It’s giving up your time that was never yours anyway.
It’s putting your writing aside, because someone else needs you.

Because…interruptions.…lovely interruptions.
These make you realize that perhaps this post doesn’t need to be written anyway.

Let me tell you how it is.


It’s everything that can’t be written with words.
Unscripted life, the beauty of descriptions that fail to describe.

Let me tell you how it is.


I can’t.

But it’s worth living.


Our Engagement Story:  And Then We Were Engaged

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