Real Women

Ben’s Perspective

Meet Ben!


1. What was it like when you asked your girlfriend to marry you?

I was very excited. I could hardly keep from exploding the entire time. And I was so excited that I could hardly plan out how I wanted to propose to her. And I was rushing it all, so that’s the main reason I was nervous. I was excited, because obviously, I was pretty sure she would say yes. πŸ™‚ And we were going to enter into this next stage of life together and enjoy companionship for the rest of our lives.

2. Did you have strong opinions about how the wedding should be or were you more like “She can get married in a brown paper bag for all I care!”?

Yes. I wanted a wedding that would glorify God first and foremost. One that would make my future wife happy and a good memory for her to look back on. And I wanted it to be fun for everyone! Those were the three main things.

  • Was there a point in the planning process that you seriously considered just getting in the car to go elope?

Not really. There were times that I wanted to have the wedding in Chico, because there would be different input given up here, but I wanted to get married with friends & family, because I believe that’s how God would want us to get married. I believed that’s what would glorify God the most. I knew that my wife wouldn’t want to elope, so I joked about it to lighten the mood, but never really considered it as an option. It was a great way to make a funny joke!

3. Do you remember what you were thinking when your bride walked down the aisle? If so, what was it?

I was looking at her and smiling because I could just see her smile and joy and excitement. Joy in a person is beautiful. And I was just enjoying her joyful beauty. And I was very happy because of that! I was excited to get married to her, but what I was thinking when she came down the aisle was “I just want to take in this moment and enjoy her.”

4. Any one memory that stands out to you from your wedding day?

There are several! Playing Crossraods with my future brother-in-law, brothers, and best man before the wedding started. Seeing my bride for the first time and taking off in the car to go take pictures. It was fun driving in the car with my bride, because we were in our wedding stuff and the photographer was in the back seat. We got to laugh and be with each other. Just me, her, and the photographer. There was no one else, at least for a little while. πŸ™‚

Cutting the cake, because we didn’t smash it into each others faces and its funny because there were a lot of people complimenting us for not smashing it in each others faces. We weren’t thinking of all that, we were just eating cake. And I remember the glow stick fireworks.

I remember everything about the wedding—completely from beginning to end. From waking up in the morning and hiking with my brothers, to catching a horny toad, and being nervous right before the wedding started while we hid in the house. I remember when Uncle David had me sit down and gave me water which I knocked down all over the floor. And I’m not clumsy so it shows you how unfocused I was. πŸ™‚

5. If you could give any advice to men who are getting married soon, what would it be?

Plan time together where you’re not focused on the wedding. Time to get away, laugh with each other, enjoy each other, and have some money to spend on your girl. Mow someone’s lawn or do some chores to earn some side money to makes those dates possible. Keep building your relationship and try to see the lessons that God wants you to see through the process of engagement and learn from them–how to resolve conflict, remind each other of truth, how to be patient, and loving.

Learn what the Bible says about true love. Do a word study on “love” from the Bible. Because I think that will help prepare you. I think sometimes we go into engagement & marriage with certain expectations and ideas. When we remember what God did toward us and for us, it makes us more patient, kind, merciful, and gracious. Put into practice what love really is!


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