I wish that there was some way that I could reach you. I wish that I could remind you of the times we had. When we talked through life and read the Bible together. I wish we could talk again, all pretense stripped away. Just as we had before. When you were searching for answers. When God brought you to me so I could answer the questions you were asking.
But that is not the case anymore. You aren’t searching. Because, you have settled. You have settled for the world that will give you nothing. A place that is devoid of hope, looking for love that is crafted by humans. And, that love is vain. I cannot reach you, because I am not with you. I can beg for you to return. But, still I feel at such a loss. Because, I am watching you settle and I cannot do anything about it. It is your choice. Your choice. I cannot change that.
I stare at nothing and think of you. The tears want to fall, because I ache for what you have settled for. I ache for the choices you are making, for the places that you have chosen to go. If there was some way that I could reach within your heart and turn the way it’s chosen to beat, then I would. But, I can’t. I cannot choose for you. Still, I ache for you. I always will.
Because, I remember the time that you told me everything. I remember the time when you gave your life to God. When, in the blackness of the night, I could see your heart. When we read the Bible until we had to go to sleep. I remember those times. I will always remember them. It makes me hurt all the more for how I see you now.
I can pray for you. I will do this with all of my heart. Every day. God can lead you back. While I ache for the choices you have made, I cannot lose hope. I will be praying for you. I want so badly to be back in your life, helping you along the way. But, what I want does not matter. All that matters is that I pray. For you. For your life. For your heart. Because, one day you will realize that what you have settled for is empty. And, you will be searching again. When this happens, turn to God. He is the only One that will satisfy the emptiness in your heart. Oh dear one, your heart is empty.
But, I am praying.
I am praying.
Sierra V. Fedorko 